I don’t dream with the frequency that I did before the divorce. Now and then I still have deeply symbolic…
Daily Existential Angst Diary (I’ll let y’all do the acronym)
**TRIGGER WARNING** UNALIVE ATTEMPT DISCUSSED IN BRIEF. In October 2019, I attempted, feebly, to unalive* myself by trying to swim…
Revetment: Self-preservation?
Something about the word “revetment” is oddly musical to me. Without knowing its meaning, I sensed its purpose the first…
Spring Storms and Black Dogs: Joy takes a day off.
DISCLAIMER: I am okay. I am posting this as a glimpse into depression. This is one day. Not every day.…
Chaos & Growth: An Auspicious Anniversary
In short order it will be the anniversary of “leaving.” I left my former home (and by extension, my second…
It’s Not Too Much to Ask: Revisiting and Requesting Respect
(Dec 18, 2018). I reach into myself—my past, my present, my imagined future—and find emptiness. From the time I was…
The Weight of Fog: Processing and revisiting the last two years.
I’ve always loved Texas winters. Our glimmering summers can be brutal and suffocating in their airlessness. Winter, at least when…
Happy Holidays: The purge, the recovery, and starting over.
Now and then, especially given the small space of my new home, I clean and purge. This holiday, with just…
Reboot: Divorce After Fifty
“So it goes.” Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. used that phrase to mark every death, to signify the inevitability and perhaps our…
Autonomy and Isolation: Separating during COVID-19
I’m at the bottom of a well so deep that I can’t see the opening at the top. No light…